THE POWER OF CONFESSION

I think it was Lou Ortenzio, a friend of mine in West, by God, Virginia who first introduced the book Post Secret to me.  

Lou was a family physician who got hooked on pain pills, started illegally prescribing controlled substances to others and to himself, eventually losing his doctor’s license and a whole lot more.  He lost his house, his family… lost everything, and because of that, reached out to Jesus Christ and found a whole new life through recovery. Lou will tell you that he was humbled to the place where he was delivering pizzas at the same residences he used to do house calls. It was in that place of weakness and through a process of confession and forgiveness Lou was able to transition from healing bodies to healing souls. He now works as the director of his city’s local rescue mission. 

Anyway, Lou introduced me to this book called Post Secret which is a very unique art project put together by a fella by the name of Frank Warren. In the fall of 2004, Frank decided to print 3000 post cards inviting random Americans to share their deepest secrets with him. He handed postcards out in restaurants, gas stations, art galleries, bus depots, college campuses, community centers and anywhere he found people congregating. The instructions on the postcard simply stated,

“communicate any way you would like, on the back of this postcard, an anonymous confession of your most protected secret.”

.” They were then given a P.O. Box address in Maryland. The secret had only two prerequisites. 1) It had to be something that was true and 2), it had to be something they had never shared with anyone else.  

Frank was not expecting much of a response, but postcards came back in droves.  They came like a blizzard to his little P.O. Box in Germantown, MD, and holy smokes did people share. They shared about their addictions, they shared about their depression, their anxiety, their anger. Of the confessions that made it in the book, some brought a smile: 

• “I waste office supplies because I hate my boss.”
• “When I am mad at my husband, I put boogers in his soup.”
• Others were much more serious: 
• “He’s been in prison for two years because if what I did. 9 more to go.”
• “I am a southern baptist’s wife.  No one knows that i do not believe in God.”
• And some were inexpressibly sad:
• “I trashed my parents house to look like i had a party while they were out of town… so my mom would think i had friends.”
• “i only ever played sports to feel like my father loved me.”
• “I’m with the only person I’ve ever been able to trust. He is the only person I have ever cheated on.”
• The book revealed something. Secrets always have a story. 
• I’ve been listening to confessions my whole life. As a therapist and as a pastor i’ve easily been told thousands of times, 
• “Please don’t tell this to anyone.”  
• “If anyone knew this I would be scandalized.”
• “If this got out, I would be ruined, my marriage would be over, my life would be over, I would go to jail, my friend would go to jail, my abuser would go to jail, the abuser who is my husband would go to jail.”

This is the story behind the secret. Challenging these stories are what makes confession possible.

I want to pause here and validate that it takes a tremendous amount of courage to get bone-deep honest and tell on yourself, or someone your love, or to blow the whistle and call out injustice or abuse. To share your secret very well may have consequences. These consequences may be so severe that they will shatter the illusion of control you are living in. And I am here to tell you that on the other side of your confession is also a freedom you never knew was possible.

What is the story behind your secret? What is the story you are telling yourself that is keeping you from experiencing healing and freedom?

God doesn’t just want to heal you from the sin or the struggle, or the pain of what’s been done to you… He wants to heal you from the shame of what the story says about you!

In the Recovery Alive Handbook, there is a section on confession where I explain, 

“When we procrastinate confessing to ourselves, God, and others our inner turmoil, we delay our healing…and that delay has consequences. Like a cancer,these toxic emotions can fester and grow like a cancer inside. Living things make bad receptacles for that which is dead and toxic. Unprocessed emotional pain tends to pollute us and those who are closest to us.”  

I would encourage you to find one safe and supportive person to begin sharing your story with. Allow yourself to release the hurt, the sin, the secret that is keeping you stuck. It is in the confession of our stories that God begins to rewrite them.